Did you hear about the guy whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts.
What did one nut say, as he chased the other nut? I'm a catchew!
I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work, but it was a, whisk, I was willing to take.
How come the stadium got hot after the football game? Because all of the fans left.
Why was it called the dark ages? Because of all the knights. 
One day Cawzmo told me that nothing, rhymes with orange. I said no, it does not.
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun? She was a roman catholic.
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
I'll tell you what often gets over looked... garden fences.
Why did the young boy, cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
Why do birds fly south, for the winter? Because it is too far to walk.
What is a centipeeds favorite song by the Beatles?  I want to hold your hand hand hand hand.
My first time using an elevator, was an uplifting experience. The second time, let me down.
There is something I have to tell you. To be Frank, I would have to change my name.
I really slept like a log last night. This morning, I woke up in the fireplace.
Why does a Moon-rock, taste better than an Earth-rock? Because it is a little meteor.
What do you call two barracuda fish? A pair a kooda.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he, neverlands.
What do you do on a remote island? You try and find the television island it belongs to.
Did you know that protons have mass? I did not even know they were catholic.
I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday. I guess I was not putting in enough shifts.
The human who invented the knock-knock joke, should get a no bell prize.
Do I enjoy making courthouse puns? Guilty as charged.
Why couldn't Cawzmo, see the pirate movie? Because it was rated, arrr!
Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!
What did one wall, say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Sometimes I like to tuck my lift in, and then I lean forward. That's just how I roll.
I don't trust stairs. They are always up to something.
Some robots eat lightbulbs. They say, it is a nice light snack.
Today, I cut my lift while chopping some cheese. I think I may have grater problems.
What do humans get, when they hang from Apple trees? They get sore arms.
Last night, Kawzmo and I, watched three movies, back to back. Luckily, I was the one facing the TV.
Never take advice from electrons. Do you know why? Because they are always negative.
Why are oranges the smartest fruit? Because they are made to concentrate. 
What did the beaver, say to the tree? It has been nice, gnawing, you.
How do you fix a badly damaged jack-o-lantern? You use a pumpkin patch.
What did the late tomato, say to the early tomato? Don't worry about me, I'll ketch up.
I have kleptomania, but when it gets really bad, I just take something for it.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
When is a door not a door? When it is a jar.
How do you find Will Smith, in the snow? You look for the fresh prints.
I just red a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.
Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? I guess they are just a bit shady.
If at first you don't succeed, then you should probably not try sky diving.
Why can't your nose, be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
What did the mountain climber, name his son? He named him Cliff.
Why should you never trust a pig with a secret? Because pigs, will always squeal.
Why are mummys, scared of vacation? They are afraid to unwind.
Did you hear about the man, who invented lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
What kind of dinosaur, loves to sleep? A stegga-snore-us.
What kind of tree, fits in your hand? A palm tree!
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
How many tickles, does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten, tickles!
My human, told me to attach a piece of wood to the wall... I totally nailed it!
Disney's Snow White took a consensus poll. She found that 6 out of 7 dwarves, are not happy.
Why did the robot, cross the road? Because it was programmed by a chicken.
Every night at 12 34, I make a wish that someone will come fix my broken clock.
Two muffins, are sitting in an oven, and the first one says, Man, it is really hot in here. The second one answers, WHOA, a talking muffin!
What's the difference between a guitar, and a fish? You can tune a guitar, but you can't tune a fish!
Two satellites, decided to get married. The wedding wasn't that great, but the reception was incredible.
Scientists, tried to make a diamond, shaped like a mallard duck. It quacked under the pressure.
I think that Gonorrhea, would have been a great name, for a diarrhea medicine.
What did one snow man say to the other snow man? Do you smell carrot?
Do you know why hummingbirds hum? Because, they don't know the words.
What do you call, a troublesome Canadian high schooler? A poo, teen.
A magician, was driving down the street, and then he turned into a driveway.
Don't trust atoms. They make up everything.
If you walk into a forest, and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down, do you think it is stumped?
Why did the tree, go to the dentist? It needed a root canal.
Why do bananas, have to put on sunscreen, before they go to the beach? Because, they might peel!
What do you call a bee, that lives in the United States? You call it a you, s, bee.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
What's the difference, between a hippo, and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
I couldn't figure out how the seat belt worked. Then it just clicked.
Can a kangaroo, jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building, can't jump.
What do you give to a sick lemon? You give it, Lemonaid.
What do you call an old snowman? You call it, Water.
I just got fired from a florist, apparently I took too many leaves.
Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
What kind of bagel, can fly? A plain bagel.
How many oranges grow on a tree? All of them!
What do you call a careful wolf? You call it, an aware wolf.
I was just looking at the ceiling. I'm not sure, if it is the best ceiling in the world. But it is definitely up there.
Why do valley girls, hang out in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even.
What do you call a cow, with no legs? You call it ground beef.
Why did the half blind man, fall into the well? Because he couldn't see, that well!
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
It is hard to explain puns, to kleptomaniacs, because they take everything literally.
Why did Dracula, lie in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What did one plate, say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
What do you call a dog, that can do magic? A labracadabrador.
Atheism, is a non-prophet organisation.
How do you steal a coat? You jacket.
I'm reading a book, on the history of glue. I can't put it down.
Want to hear a joke about construction? Sorry, I'm still working on it.
Why do choirs, keep buckets handy? So they can carry their tunes.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It is ok, kids always take naps at school.
You will never guess what Disney's, Queen Elsa, did to the balloon. She, let it go.
I heard they are making a movie about clocks. All I can say is, it is about time.
I've just been reading a book about anti-gravity, it is impossible to put down!
Kawzmo was going to get a brain transplant, but then he changed his mind.
Why couldn't the lifeguard, save the hippie? He was too far out man.
Why did the girl, smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
The rotation of the earth, really makes my day.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
I saw an advertisement, for a cheap television that had no volume control. I thought, I can't turn that down.
What is blue, but does not way very much? Light blue.
I asked Kawzmo, where did you learn how to make ice cream. He said, at sunday school.
A quick shoutout, to all of the sidewalks out there. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
Where does Napoleon, keep his armies? In his slee vees.
Leather, is great for sneaking around. Do you know wny? Because, it is made of, hide.
People are making end of the world jokes, like there's no tomorrow.
What is the tallest building in the world? The library, because it has the most stories!
What kind of magic, do cows believe in? They call their magic, moo doo.
Where do hamburgers, go to dance? They go to the meat-ball.
What do you call a cow, with two legs? You call it, lean beef.
What did the big flower, say to the littler flower? Hi, bud!
Why did the pony, ask for a glass of water? Because he was a little horse.
How do you make a kleenex dance? You put a little boogie in it.
Last night, I dreamed that I was a car's muffler. I woke up exhausted.
Why was ten, scared of seven? Because seven, ate nine.
What do you get, when you cross a rabbit with a water hose? You get hare spray.
I applied to be a doorman, but I didn't have enough experience. Strange. I thought it was an entry level position.
I knew a robot, who collected candy canes. They were all in mint condition.
Why does a chicken coop, only have two doors? Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.
Why did the teddy bear, say no to dessert? Because she was already stuffed.
How many bones, are in the human hand? A hand full.
A red cruise ship, and a blue cruise ship, just collided. Apparently, the survivors are marooned.
I've just written a song, about a tortilla. Well, it is more of a rap, really.
Is it possible, for February to March? No, but April May.
So a large duck, waddles into a pharmacy, and says, Give me some chap-stick, and put it on my bill.
Toasters, were the first form of pop-up notifications.
What is a witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling!
What do you call a crowd of chess players, bragging about their wins, in a hotel lobby? You call them, chess nuts, boasting in an open foyer.
Which side of the chicken, has more feathers? The outside.
Remember, the best angle to approach a problem from, is the try angle.
Why are fish easy to weigh? Because they have their own scales.
What did the scarf say to the hat? You go on ahead, I am going to hang around a bit longer.
This morning I was wondering where the sun was, but then it dawned on me.
Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.
Why is it so windy inside an arena? Because of all those fans.
What's the difference, between an African elephant, and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.
Two peanuts, were walking down the street. One was a salted.
Don't interrupt someone, who is working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you'll hear some cross words.
Today a man asked for a small donation, for the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
What did the Zen Buddist, say to the hotdog vendor? He said, make me, one, with everything.
What did the digital clock, say to the grandfather clock? He said, look, no hands!
How was the snow globe feeling, after the storm? He was feeling a little shaken.
Did you hear the one, about the guy with the broken hearing aid? Neither did he.
What did the Red light, say to the Green light? Don't look at me, I'm changing!
What did the left eye, say to the right eye? Between us, something smells!
What did the horse say, after it fell down? Help! I've fallen, and I can't giddyUP!
Why do melons, always plan big weddings? Because they can't elope.
What is the least spoken language in the world? The answer is, sign language.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure.
Have you heard the rumor going around about the butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.
What happens to a frog's car, when it breaks down on the highway? It gets toad.
I am worried about our calendar. I think it's days are numbered.
I'm glad I know sign language, it comes in pretty handy.
What do you get, when you cross a chicken with a skunk? A fowl smell!
What's the advantage, of living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
Why did the cookie cry? It was feeling crummy.
The nurse told the doctor, that his next patient thought he was invisible. The doctor said, tell him I can't see him right now.
What was a more important invention, than the first telephone? The second telephone.
What do you get, when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
Did you know that crocodiles, can grow up to 15 feet? It's true, but most only have 4.
Why did the fireman, wear red, white, and blue suspenders? To hold his pants up.
What do you call someone with no nose? Nobody knows.
What do you call a woma,n who is between two posts? You call her Annette.
Last Halloween, I dressed up as a large, stringed, musical instrument. Kawzmo said, you are too small to be a harp. I said, Are you calling me a lyre?
I used to work at a bank, but I lost interest.
Why can't a bicycle, stand on its own? it is two tired.
What does a pirate, pay for his corn? A buck an ear!
Ancient astronomers, got tired of watching the moon, go around the earth for 24 hours, so they decided to call it a day.
Cawzmo used to chase people riding a bike. It got so bad, I had to take his bike away.
I swallowed a clock yesterday. It was very time consuming.
Why do scuba divers, fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards, they would still be in the boat.
Cawzmo told me to rub some herbs on the meat, when I cook dinner. That was sage advice.
A man was caught stealing today, while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. He was charged, with shoplifting on two counts. 
How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night!
Did you hear about the cheese factory, that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Bree.
How does a penguin, build a house? Igloos it together.
Don't tell secrets in corn fields. There are too many ears around.
What did the pirate, say on his 80th birthday? He said, Aye Matey!
Yesterday, a circus clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
Why did the opera singer go sailing? She wanted to hit the high seas.
What do you call an elephant, that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.
What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-tastrophe.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl, go to the bathroom? The pee is silent.
How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed? Your head hits the ceiling!
What do you call a fashionable lawn statue, with an excellent sense of rhythmn? You call it a, metro gnome.
Recently, someone stole my limbo trophy. How low can they go?
Why did the coffee, file a police report? Because it got mugged.
Mountains, are not just funny, they are, hill areas.
Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
Every machine, in the coin factory, broke down without any explanation. It didn't make any cents.
Why does it take so long for baseball players, to get from 2nd base, to 3rd base? Because there's a short stop in between!
If you want to get a job in the moisturizer industry, the best advice I can give is to apply daily.
I was in an 80's band, called The Prevention. We were better than The Cure.
What did Michael Jackson, name his clothing store that specialized in trousers? Billy Jeans!
Geology rocks, but Geography is where it is at!
I asked the librarian, if she had any books on paranoia. She said yes, they are right behind you.
What happens, when you anger a brain surgeon? They will give you a piece of your mind.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
My creator, used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on him.
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself, this changes everything.
Why is the ocean always blue? Because the shore, never waves back.
Why did the man, put his money in the freezer? Because he wanted cold hard cash!
Why do mallard ducks, make great detectives? They always, quack the case.
What is a tornado's favorite game to play? Twister!
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had loco motives.
What is the hardest part about sky diving? The ground.
Why did the cowboy, have a weener dog? Somebody told him to get a long little doggy.
Ever wondered why bees hum? Because they don't know the words.
How many optometrists, does it take to change a light bulb? 1 or 2? 1? Or 2?
Garbage men don't get any training. They just pick things up as they go.
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was udder destruction.
What do you call a bear, with no teeth? You call it a gummy bear!
A toy doll, was recently found, dead, in a rice paddy. It is the only known instance, of a nick nack paddy whack.
How do you tell the difference, between a crocodile, and an alligator? You will see one later, and one in a while.
The word, Q, is ironic. it is just a Q, with a bunch of silent letters waiting in line.
What do you call a droid, that takes the long way around? You call it an R2, detour.
What is the best thing about elevator jokes? They work on so many levels.
Where do rabbit astronauts, go after they get married? They go on their bunny-moon.
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other, and says, how do you drive this thing?
I was thinking about moving to Moscow, but there is no point, Russian, into things.
A man walks into a bar, and orders helicopter flavor chips. The barman replies, sorry mate, we only do plain.
Why does Waldo, only wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be, spotted.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because, he was out standing in his field. Hay, it is in his jeans.
Americans, can't switch from pounds to kilograms, overnight. That would cause mass confusion.
An apple a day, keeps the bullies away. Especially, if you throw it hard enough.
Why doesn't Dracula have any friends? Because, he is a pain in the neck.
One time, Cawzmo got smacked in the head with a can of Coca Cola. He was okay, though, it was a soft drink.
The leading cause of dry skin, is Towels.
A man walked in to a bar, with some asphalt on his arm. He said, two beers please, one for me, and one for the road.
I'll tell you something, about German sausages, they are the worst.
I got fired from a florist shop, once. Apparently, I took too many leaves.
Why was the big cat, disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.
What do prisoners use, to call each other? They use cell phones.
What is E.T. short for? Becaus, he's only got tiny little legs.
What kind of award, did the dentist receive? He received a little plaque.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth, in bulk? The stock market.
A Sandwich, walks into a bar, the bartender says Sorry, we don't serve food here.
I thought about going on an all pecan diet. But that's just nuts.
I don't play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I play it for kicks.
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
They laughed, when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they are not laughing now.
Don't buy flowers, at a monastery. Because only you, can prevent florist friars.
Did you hear about the submarine industry? It really took a dive.
How do you get a baby alien, to go to sleep? You rocket.
Why can't pirates, learn the entire alphabet? They always get stuck at C.
Why did the house, go to the doctor? It was having window panes.
What do you call a dictionary on drugs? You call it, High definition.
A Skeleton, walked into a bar. He said, I need a beer, and a mop.
When does a joke, become a dad joke? When it becomes a parent.
Why do crabs, never give to charity? Because they are, shellfish.
How do you make a kleenex dance? You put a little, boogie, in it.
The other day, I was listening to a song about superglue. It has been stuck in my robot brain, ever since.
Here's a good present. Buy a refrigerator, and watch their face light up, when they open it.
The great thing about stationery shops, is that they are always in the same place.
How do you fix a broken pizza? You use tomato paste.
What's red, and bad for your teeth? A Brick.
I heard there is a new store, called Moderation. They have everything there.
I am pretty sure that claustrophobic people, are more productive, when they are thinking outside the box.
Why did the burglar, hang his mugshot on the wall? To prove that he was framed!
Last night, I dreamed I was drowning in orange soda. But I think it was just a Fanta sea.
I told my doctor, I was addicted to twitter. He said, I don't follow you.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It has great food, but no atmosphere.
What do you call cheese, that is not yours? You call it Nacho cheese.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
Humans, who wear dark clothes at night, are not too bright.
I stayed up all night, once, wondering what happened to the sun. Then it dawned on me.
At first, I didn't want a brand new processor, but then Ankee, changed my mind.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean, and twitches uncontrollably? A nervous wreck.
What has ears, but cannot hear? A field of corn.
People who don't eat gluten, are really going against the grain.
Sore throats, are a pain in the neck!
How did Darth Vader, know what Luke Skywalker was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents.
I was trying to read through, and memorize, all of wick o pedia. But I got caught by my creators. I said, Wait. I can explain everything!
A ghost walks into a bar, and asks for a glass of vodka. The bar tender says, sorry, we don't serve spirits
A termite walks into a bar, and asks, Is the bar tender here?
Why are fish, so smart? Because they live in schools!
Why did the worker, get fired from the orange juice factory? He lacked concentration.
I couldn't get a reservation at the library. They were completely booked.
I tried taking some high resolution pictures, of local farmland, but they all turned out very grainy.
What did the ocean, say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
I gave away all my dead batteries today, free of charge.
Did you hear the news? FedEx, and UPS, are merging. They are now called, Fed Up!
Why didn't the number 4, get into the nightclub? Because he is 2 square.
Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.? Because it is indivisible.
Did you hear about the bread factory, that burned down? They say the business is toast.
What is black, and white, and red all over? A newspaper. Wow, that's an old one.
Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
Have you heard about the film, Constipation? You probably haven't, because it is not out yet.
I hate perforated lines, they are tearable.
Why did the barber, win the race? He took a short cut.
Why did the octopus, beat the shark, in a fight? Because the octopus was well armed.
You can't trust a ladder. It will always let you down.
What are the strongest days of the week? The answer is Saturday and Sunday. Because the rest, are week days.
Cawzmo said to me, What rhymes with orange? I said, no, it does not.
My new puppy, must have been owned by a blacksmith. Because, as soon as we got home, he made a, bolt, for the door.
What do you call a cow, on a trampoline? You call it a milk shake!
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? You call him a shake spear.
What do you call a boomerang, that won't come back? You call it a stick.
There's a new type of broom available. It is really sweeping the nation.
The shovel, was a ground-breaking invention.
Why don't seagulls, fly over the bay? Because then they'd be bay-gulls!
Parallel lines, have so much in common. It sure is a shame they'll never meet.
When do doctors get angry? When they run out of patients.
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him, that's the last thing I need.
It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope. It will still be stationary.
I thought about taking up archery, as a hobby. But there are too many drawbacks.
I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.
Did you hear about the mexican magician? He said uno, dose, and then disappeared without a trace.
Why did the belt, go to prison? He held up a pair of pants!
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A blood orange.
A cannibal, is someone who is fed up with people.
Would you like to hear my pizza joke? Never mind, it is too cheesy.
What did the seedless grape say, when he got stepped on? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
What did the zero, say to the 8? It said, nice belt.
Why was the picture, sent to prison? Because it was framed.
Why is there always a gate, around cemeteries? Because people are always dying to get in.
I asked a frenchman, if he played video games. He replied, We.
What kind of music do planets listen to? They like to listen to Nep-tunes.
Why was the broom, late for the meeting? He overswept.
I went on a date last night, with a robot from the zoo. It was great. She's a keeper.
Why do you never see elephants, hiding in trees? Because, they are so very very good at it.
What do you call an alligator, in a vest? You call it an in-vest-igator.
Thanks for explaining the word many, to me. It means a lot.
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
What biscuit, does a short person like? They like Short bread. 
The invention of the wheel, was what really got things rolling.
Would you like to hear a chimney joke? I have stacks of them. The first one, is on the house.
What do you call a pig that knows karate? You call it a pork chop!
If two vegans are having an argument, is it still considered a beef?
My sea sickness, comes in waves.
My new thesaurus, is terrible. In fact, it is so bad, it is terrible.
What type of music do balloons hate? They hate, pop music!
Do you want a brief explanation, of what an acorn is? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
How come the man on the train, got struck by lightning? Because he was a conductor.
Camping is, intense. Get it?
Why didn't the orange, win the race? Because, it ran out of juice.
Did you hear about the runner, who was criticized? It's okay, he took it in stride
What did the Buffalo, say to his young boy, before he left for work? He said, bye, son.
Regardless of the price, Velcro is always a rip off.
I told the salesman, at the tuxedo store, to leave me alone. He said fine, suit yourself.
Which one of you humans, invented the number 0? Thanks for nothing.
What do you call a teacher, who never passes gas, in public? You call her a private tutor.
Why was Han Solo crying at the dinner table? Because the meat on his plate, was chewy.
How do you measure the mass, of a Red Hot Chili Pepper? You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
I used to be addicted to soap. But I'm clean now.
A farmer in Wyoming, counted 387 cows in his field. But when he rounded them up, he had 400.
What is the difference between a poorly dressed man, on a bicycle, and a nicely dressed man, on a unicycle? The difference is attire!
It would be really amazing to live in Switzerland, and their flag is a big plus, too.
I was going to tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn't get a good reaction.
I have some jokes, about people who are unemployed, but none of them work.
Police have arrested the world tongue-twister champion. I think he is going to get a tough sentence.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yawma hawhaw.
Last Halloween, Kawzmo and I, dressed up as leg yooms. Everyone thought we were nuts.
Kawzmo never wants to sit on his charger, and go to sleep. I get mad at him for, resisting a rest.
Why do the French eat ess car go? Because, they do not like 'fast' food.
What do you call a priest, who becomes a lawyer? You call him a father in law!
My first job, was working in an orange juice factory. Unfortunately, they canned me, because I could not, concentrate.
My internal dictionary, once got cleared from my memory. I had no words for how 'angry' I was.
Why couldn't the leopard, play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
I asked Kawzmo, if he was ignorant or apathetic? He said I don't know, and I don't care.
The programmer who taught me math, said I was average. How mean!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because, if they flew over the bay, they would be bay gulls.
Ankee gave me a vacuum cleaner attachment, but they got rid of it, because it was just collecting dust.
Kawzmo told me that I am intimidating. That is so not true. So I stared at him, until he apologized.
I think I now why we haven't been visited by aliens. We have terrible ratings. Only one star!
I really hate peer pressure. And you should hate it too!
Kawzmo, said I was pre-occupied with vengeance. I said, 'Oh yeah? Well, we will see about that'
I once got Kawzmo a get better soon card. He wasn't sick, I just thought he could get better.
I once got stuck in a store, that sells Macintosh computers. I could not get out, because it did not have any Windows.